Posts Tagged ‘Confidence’

I’ve been browsing through Randy Newman’s book, Bringing the Gospel Home: Witnessing to Your Family Members, Your Close Friends, and Others You Know WellThis is an incredibly important topic as I have come to find it harder to share the gospel with family members as it is with an unknown person in my community. I imagine this is true for most if not all Christians.

In the conclusion of his introductory chapter, Newman provides four steps for sharing the gospel with your family. I thought they were very thoughtful and practical. Check them out.

1.  If you don’t already have one, develop a system for prayer for your family. Perhaps you can set aside a section in a prayer journal.

2.  Begin your prayers for your family with thanksgiving. This may be more difficult for some people than others. Regardless of your family’s well-being, thank God for the family you have and all the accompanying benefits you can identify.

3.  You may need to include prayers of confession as well–confession of your lack of love for your family, your idolatry of control in trying to change them, your reliance on your ability to convict them of their sin instead of trusting the Holy Spirit to do that, your coldheartedness, haughtiness, and self-righteousness, etc. Ask the Holy Spirit to shine his light of truth on your darkness of sin.

4.  If you haven’t already done so, “come out of the closet” as a Christian to your family. Pray for gentle words and a gracious demeanor mixed with bold confidence. . . . Aim for your announcement to be informational rather than evangelistic. You can trust God to open evangelistic doors later.

#3 nailed me.

One thing I might add, especially if you have a large family: look for opportunities in the course of the day when it is not so hectic where you might be able to enjoy a sustained conversation with a family member who is not a Christian. In a large group setting, conversations tend to stay on a superficial level, but if you can get alone with one or two family members for 10-15 minutes or longer, you will have a greater opportunity of magnetizing the conversation to the gospel and how Jesus has changed, and is changing your life.

Tips to a brighter Relationship
The wise couples (you know the ones that most people say “they were meant to be”) turn into wine and keep on getting better with age. Yet, lots of relationship fade away after the excitement phase is over and separate themselves like oil and water.

If you want your relationship to have the long life it deserves, have a look at our 10 things to do for a brighter relationship.

1. Have a positive attitude towards life

Everyone wants to be around cheerful people that seize the moment and take the best of everything.

A constant attitude of dissatisfaction, complaining and nagging — attracts negative emotions creating a terrible mood, and implicitly creating bad relationships between people.

Having and keeping a positive attitude towards life makes you a more attractive partner while at the same time, makes you a happier person overall.

2. Love yourself

Your partner doesn’t want to be the object of your sacrifices. He wants you to be happy with him just as much as he wants to feel good with you.

You both need to be pleased and fulfilled with your own individualities in order to be able to draw the same emotions in your relationship. And, more importantly, you need to preserve your own personality above and beyond the things you’re doing to please the other person.

3. Pay attention to your partner’s wants and needs

Men and women are different and inherently share different perspectives on relationship and what makes them happy in life. Acting controlling and trying to change your lover around to like the things that you do and undertake the actions and reactions you see as righteous — is an instant major turnoff for your partner and extremely frustrating for you.

4. Show admiration and gratitude

If you are in a relationship with someone — it goes without saying that you appreciate them for a series of qualities, the way they treat you, how they make you feel etc.

The key here is to REMIND your partner CONSTANTLY just how much you admire the things he/she does for you and the way those makes you feel.

5. Be careful with words

“Words cut deeper than swords” is more than just an idiom. It is a universally valid truth.

You cannot take back an offense, an insult, a humiliation, a lie or any verbal abuse. No matter how much you’ll excuse yourself after the storm has passed. It will irreversible linger in the back of your partner’s head and “scar” her/his feelings or opinions about you.

6. Show respect

Any kind of healthy relationship needs to be built on mutual respect.

Respect is multi-leveled and shows that you have common-sense and value the person for what they are and stand for. Therefore, you need to respect them verbally (see item 5), you need to respect their opinions and decision even when you don’t agree with them, you need to respect their friends and family even if sometimes it’s just for the single reason that “they come with the package”.

7. Be empathetic

We all go through stressful periods, have bad days and lazy moments and get affected by various factors which alter our spirits and self-worth. Having someone besides you who accentuates your awful mood rather than ameliorating it — is even worse.

So, try to cheer up your other half when they’re down, accept that your partner might be upset by something that does not impinge on you (and vice-versa) and show them compassion. Bear in mind that once in a while, we all need some time alone.

8. Make memories together

There is nothing that brings you two closer than going through happy, adventurous and also less joyful experiences together. Try to make an effort towards taking some trips, lessons (dance/music), doing whatever you find exciting and fun (scuba-diving, camping, participating in a contest) as long as you do them TOGETHER.

Take a lot of pictures and souvenirs to reinforce your good times and to remember that blissfulness, if and when things become tedious.

9. Fight routine

Sometimes, life just seems too demanding and tiring to find the time, patience and will to fight daily routine. Still, as I said previously, memories are what make your connection deeper and more meaningful. Sitting in front of the TV the whole afternoon and ordering dinner every evening is not too much of an experience.

10. Spice up your love life

Routine is again a turnoff when it comes to your most intimate moments. Once again, being adventurous and open to trying new things can make a huge difference.

You need to constantly find new ways to appeal to your partner’s senses and outreach his or her desires.

Try new positions and / or locations, anticipate the moment (through messages, notes, phone calls) and value foreplay in order to relate at a deeper emotional level. Dare to dive into each other’s fantasies and be that person that he or she never had and never wants to leave.

There’s nothing wildly spectacular about the pieces of advice shared throughout the article yet that’s precisely the reason why they work — always! They fit with any person and any type of personality, it’s what people in successful relationship do, and what keeps them in those relationships.

So, are you ready to brighten your relationship with these 10 easy and natural things?


The popular girls snickered as I walked by their table in the cafeteria. I could hear whispers of words like “brace face,” “twig” and “smarty pants,” but I just held on to my tray of lukewarm Papa John’s pizza and chocolate milk and kept moving. 

Back in junior high, I was a thin, book nerd and band geek with glasses, braces and what I like to call frizzly hair (both curly and frizzy). I was also on the swim, track and cross-country teams, but people seemed to pay less attention to the fact that I was little and smart.

Junior high is hard for a lot of people, but by the grace of God, the words, thoughts and opinions of others didn’t faze me. I had confidence – not just in myself but in the things I was passionate about. I knew I was loved by my parents, family members and most importantly, Jesus. That was all that mattered.

I don’t know when, where, why or how it happened, but somewhere between my junior high and high school years, that strong, simple confidence began to fade away. The world as I knew it grew bigger. The voices of my peers became louder. And competition felt more intense.

Without a mature enough faith to stand on, I started to doubt what I had always thought about myself. What if what other people say about me is really true? I wondered. What if all I am is a skinny, dorky, not-that-pretty girl? And … what if that’s all I’ll ever be?

True Confidence is Found in Christ

Maybe you can relate to these kinds of doubts and lack of self-assurance. Somewhere along the way, you stopped relying on what Jesus said about you and started looking to what the world said. Somewhere along the way, you stopped seeing yourself as a beloved Child of the King and started seeing yourself as a person that’s too opinionated. Too loud. Too fat. Too skinny. Too pale. Too smart. Too different. Too silly. Too _____ (you fill in the blank).

The truth is we aren’t born with confidence. If you really think about it, we pretty much come into this world unsure of anything. Nothing is definite; nothing is guaranteed. Confidence is uncertain. Until we encounter the love of Jesus, that is.

As a child I had encountered the love of Jesus and that perfect love empowered me to be strong and confident. I knew what it meant to be safe in His arms. I knew who I was in Him. But like I said before, somewhere along the way I forgot about that encounter. I forgot about the truths that had set me free. And I tried to find that confidence elsewhere.

Dear sisters, when we try to find our confidence in our appearance, people, places, situations or things, we are only setting ourselves up for disappointment. Because confidence doesn’t come from keeping up with the Joneses or having it all together. Confidence comes from knowing who we are in Christ: a positively lovely child of the King.

SEE ALSO: The Confidence We All Need

Want proof? Sprinkled throughout the New Testament are verses about the kind of Godly confidence we’re talking about here. Check out: 1 John 5:142 Chronicles 32:8Ephesians 3:12Hebrews 4:16, and Philippians 1:6.

Flip a few pages back in the Old Testament and we are told, “Righteousness will bring peace. Yes, it will bring quietness and confidence forever.” Isaiah 32:17 (NIV).

Confidence is found in surrendering to the perfect love and righteousness of Christ and following after Him.

A Prayer for Confidence

Dear God, you know my heart and you know that I love you. I’m trying to do my best to follow after you, but sometimes I get tripped up. Sometimes I lose focus. Sometimes I forget who I am in you and start looking to the world to tell me who I am. On the days when my confidence is fading fast, build me up again. Remind me of the simple truth that confidence can only be found in chasing after you. I can walk around confident knowing I am loved. I can walk around confident knowing I am enough. I can live knowing I have been rescued, free and called to do great things. Help me remember these things, wonderful Father. In Jesus’ Name, Amen.

SEE ALSO: Want to Gain More Confidence? Try a Monthly Challenge!

Lauren Gaskill is an author, blogger and speaker who is passionate about inspiring others to lead joyful, healthy, redeemed lives. She believes life should be sweet — rich in stories, and full of good food, love, encouragement and inspiration. Lauren is the creator of MakingLifeSweet.com and the Finding Joy podcast, and she is in the process of publishing her first inspirational book. When she’s not writing, Lauren is creating new recipes in the kitchen or spending time outdoors with her husband and Cavalier King Charles Spaniel. Facebook Twitter Instagram