Archive for December, 2014

CANDID ADVICE: FIGHTING SEXUAL URGES

In this generation where there are so many triggers to indulge in sexually inclined activities, it is most appropriate to fight back, but the big issue is that fighting back seems to be a larger tasks than conquering the Electricity challenges in Nigeria.
Here are some few tips to winning the war.

#1. ACCEPT THAT IT IS PRETTY NORMAL TO HAVE SEXUAL URGES
To control your sexual urges, you must first accept that there is nothing wrong in wanting sex or thinking about it. It is a pretty normal phase everyone goes through, but there is an appropriate time for it. Unlike what we have been made to believe by some societal factors like religion that sex is evil and having sexual urges is a complete taboo, on the contrary, God invited sex for a purpose and he gave certain prerequisites before engaging in it. When these criteria (most popular of which is Marriage) are met, then Sex is a goldmine. In fighting the urges (most especially when you are yet to be qualified), you have to know and accept that your sexual desires are just one of those basic physical needs that seeks to be fulfilled one way or the other but not obliged. Once you have accepted this fact and you strongly wish to put it in check, you can control it.

#2. KNOW WHAT TRIGGERS THOSE FEELINGS
In order to control your sexual desires, you must know what it is that actually sets it off. For someone who is sexually starved, it is easier to be drawn by sexual innuendoes and signs, making it tough to control your urges but once you have identified those things that triggers these feelings, you mind will be alert enough to steer clear of them. Avoid reading books with x-rated contents or watch pornographic movies or any form of object that can stimulate your sexual urges.

#3. TRANSLATE YOUR SEXUAL URGES INTO CREATIVE OUTPUTS
To curb your sexual desires, you have to do more to think less. Channel all those feelings into something that will keep your mind off sex and then, get busy. You can read books, go out with friends, watch movies (but be sure of the content before you find yourself using Petrol to quench fire), learn new things etc. Transfer your urges into something you have always wanted to do. At the end of the day, you would have successfully managed not to think about sex and you will also be satisfied at the things you did. If one of those hobbies trigger a sexual response in you and you are feeling aroused, do not masturbate. Think of non-sexual images or take a long walk.

#4. TRANSFER YOUR ENERGY INTO EXERCISE
Engage your body in exercise that will keep you busy and keep you from feeling frustrated from not having sex. You can jog in the morning, swim or hit the gym. You
can also try yoga and other exercise that will help stimulate both mind and body.

#5. STAY AWAY FROM DRUGS AND ALCOHOL
Only few can drink heavily or do drugs without losing control of themselves. Stay away from alcohol and drugs, they will cause you to do something you will regret when you are sober. If you must drink, drink water or juice or soda or some non-alcoholic drink and with friends you can trust and you know will watch over you.

#6. PURSUE NON-SEXUAL RELATIONSHIPS
In order to control your sexual urge, you should enter into a relationship with no sex. If you wonder what you both will do without the sex, there are countless things couples can do to bond like going on a field trip together, taking up a joint hobby, learning new things together. Far from what most people think, you can have a very satisfying relationship without sex.

#7. TALK TO SOMEONE
If you feel like you can’t control it all by yourself, you can talk to your doctor, pastor, parents, close relative or friends. Sometimes, having someone to talk to about how you feel helps better than trying to curb it all by yourself. Who knows, the person you want to meet may have had difficulty curbing his own desires too. What then is better than learning from someone’s experience. Don’t be shy or scared of being judged.

#8. GET SPIRITUAL HELP
In getting spiritual help, it’s important to note that if you are being taught that sex is
bad and it wrong, you won’t have much comfort there and it will only push you deeper into your urges. Get spiritual help that engages your mind in spiritual activities that are far from sex. Being around people pursuing the same goal as you, especially in chastity can also be a strong supportive measure. That way you have someone holding your hands all the way.

As you would handle the viruses on your system, so should you handle the thoughts of sex, especially when you are trying so hard to be chaste. Tackle your thoughts before it
translates into an action you may regret later.
Thanks