Murderers by Proxy — My Guilt #DairyofaFreeman

Posted: July 9, 2014 in Da Grace Race, Dairy of a Freeman, Family, Help Line, HMMMM, Naija Scene, Opinion, The Grind Theorem, Touchstone

How do I get this guilt off my mind? How do I look at the little boy and tell him his mother wasn’t just playing dead? Where do I start from? Whose wings can cover me from this guilt?


I look into the mirror and behold the image of a murderer by proxy. If only I had done more on my part. If only I had shown up for work that day. If only I had not gotten carried away by my own so called issues. If only I had not mingled with so much civilian affairs that I forgot I AM A MAN OF WAR.

Now I sit and cry, regretting my inactions and wishing I could turn back the hands of time. I wish I could express the pain I feel in a better way but I can’t. It hurts more than anyone could imagine.

The image of the village, the children rendered orphans and the homes torn apart. The old women that were raped. The young boys that were kidnapped. The palace that was burnt. All in 3hours. Three hours in which the rain of terror showered upon these little villages.

The way I see it, we all failed. The Republic has failed these people and I can’t help it but cry. We are the Republic. We couldn’t protect our own. We are guilty of manslaughter because we failed by proxy. We could have shown up earlier. Or even prayed but we did none. We are guilty. The Republic and we her Forces are guilty. Including myself.


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